With all of the playoff baseball on recently, you may have forgotten about the NFL. There's a lot to recap this week. Let's get to it.
Jaguars 31, Saints 24
This game was exhibit R as to why Thursday Night Football is a blight upon humanity. The Jags played down to their competition while the Saints played lower than their city is below sea level. This game just boiled down to one giant turnover fest, but the Saints are driving and have a chance to tie it. Foster Moreau is wide open in the end zone- and drops it. Jags win. Saints fans, I know your first instinct is to turn on your tight end for this failure, but the culprit here is Derek Carr. The dude is throwing prayer balls out of bounds and getting mad at his receivers for not running them out. The tire fire is starting in the Bayou once again as they fall under .500 for the first time this year. Looks like my games of the week won't be the only ones fighting for a daytime Emmy.
Falcons 16, Buccaneers 13
Classic NFC South football. By classic, I mean the two teams involved trying to give each other the game whenever they can. The Falcons put on a masterclass in their traditional choking today, yet still won the game. They had two fumbles from the 1-yard line for touchbacks. That's how badly they were trying to hand the game to Tampa on a silver platter. But Tampa Bay didn't reach out and take it. The Falcons win. Somehow, Atlanta is 4-3 despite choking more than Geoffrey from Game of Thrones over the past few weeks. Arthur Smith has his baffling tactics vindicated once again. Just start Taylor Heinicke. He did well in Washington last year. Why not use him?
Raiders 12, Bears 30
Two indescribably awful teams doing battle in a stadium that looks like botched plastic surgery. However, one of these teams is at .500, so is it a tank bowl? Let me take a closer look. Oh, yeah, that's a TANK BOWL!
Yes, I know the Raiders were 3-3 going into this game, but I don't care. Their starting quarterback was Brian Hoyer. Even better for Chicago, Justin Fields is injured. In comes rookie Tyson Bagent to take the reins of the offense in his stead. Look at him sling the ball in ways Justin can't. Look at how the Bears finally unlocked their running game, thanks to having a real threat over the top. I gaze in awe as the Raider defense completely falls apart and gets torched by an undrafted rookie in his first career start. Are you kidding me with this? You know these are the kinds of games you need to win if you want to keep pretending to be competitive, you know? This was a total smackdown. Bad news, Chicago, thanks to the win and Arizona continuing to suck, you have now fallen to the 3rd overall pick in the draft this year. Such is the cost of winning. Keep building up that false hope.
Browns 39, Colts 38
Who knew a game involving the Browns and Colts would turn into an offensive shootout for the ages? This Browns defense has been shutting down everything it has faced so far this year. Apparently, the key to solving their labyrinth is Gardner Minshew and a bunch of ragtag receivers. Despite the loss, there should be no blame on the offense despite the turnovers. That cannot be said about the defense, however. Wasn't this supposed to be a relatively competent bunch? How the hell did you let PJ Walker and the Browns running game dominate you for stretches in this game? Sure, they got 2 picks, but those were off of Dirtbag before he got vigilante justice performed on him by a Colts linebacker. Those picks don't count, in my opinion. At this point, Walker is the better quarterback. Unfortunately, he's not the one the Browns are paying 9 figures. Colts, you can complain all you want about the flags on the final drive, but when you can't stop an XFL quarterback and hideously predictable play-calling to save your lives, you deserve to lose. At least the season isn't lost yet.
Commanders 7, Giants 14
Folks, I think the G-men have finally figured something out. The solution to their losing ways is to get their defense destroying worlds again and to face an offense even worse than theirs. Both offenses were horrid today. The Giants are dealing with their typical issues, but they managed to score multiple touchdowns on offense today. These are the first touchdowns they've scored on offense since week 2. And also, the first touchdowns they've scored at home all season. Just keep starting Tyrod when Daniel Jones gets healthy. He's the common denominator behind the G-men playing a bit better, and he more than deserves the opportunity coming from someone who watched him play in Buffalo for years. Do it, Daboll.
Lions 6, Ravens 38
What I expected was a statement win, and what we got was a statement win. For the other team. This game was a beatdown from start to finish from a Ravens team looking for someone to beat up on after several subpar performances in a row. For the first time since around this time two years ago, Baltimore completely dominated a legit contender for 60 minutes. I think most of the doubters have shut up now. As for Detroit? Completely stuffed on all fronts today. Their offense went nowhere until garbage time, and their D was completely eaten alive by Lamar Jackson for 28 points in the first half. This game shows that they still have work to do. The fortunate thing for them is that next week, they have the Raiders. They are good training wheels for getting back on track.
Bills 25, Patriots 29
Sunday was National Tight Ends Day. Josh Allen apparently decided to celebrate this by forcing a pass to Dawson Knox on his first throw. It was intercepted. That's roughly how this game went for Buffalo. I don't want to hear "Bills, what happened" this entire week. Sure, we Bills fans deserve it, but the people who say that don't understand the full situation. The secret with Buffalo is that they're actually massively overrated right now, thanks to devastating injuries on the defensive side of the ball. Combine this with Buffalo's annual midseason tradition of forgetting how to score points, and it spells doom for any hope Bills fans may have of a competent 60-minute effort. Against a ragtag bunch like the Giants, Buffalo got away with it, thanks to refball. However, they didn't get so lucky in New England. For 3 quarters, the Bills looked like the biggest frauds in football. The offense was flat and uninspired, the defense was bending, and even Tyler Bass was missing easy field goals. With New England leading 22-10, the Bills went into bailout mode. 2 touchdowns and a forced fumble gave them the lead with 2 minutes to play. However, this is where that hospital ward defense comes back to haunt them. New England marches down the field for the game-winning touchdown, and everyone watching is forced to suffer through Mark Gesicki's Griddy (along with whatever Mac Jones was doing). Just leave Dorsey in New England. My infant cousin could call better plays than he does.
Cardinals 10, Seahawks 20
This game was the standard fare for Arizona. Keep it competitive for a half, and then allow your opponent to pull away, thanks to your sheer lack of talent. Against Seattle, it was more of the same. The Cards had about 1 good drive, and then everything fell apart thanks to Pete Carroll adjusting. Arizona now falls to 1-6. They might be the best 1-6 team in the league. However, I will say this. You see the team you are playing next week? I would be very happy if you guys won that game. Please beat them, Arizona.
Steelers 24, Rams 17
Two mediocre teams congregated in a stadium where 90% of the fans in attendance were supporting the visiting team. No wonder the Rams lost this game. What this game came down to was whose offense would choke less. And that team was the Steelers. Pittsburgh completely dominated the 4th quarter and, with some help from the refs, managed to win the game. Pittsburgh might be the worst 4-2 team in football right now. I can't wait for them to get exposed in due course.
Chargers 17, Chiefs 31
The Chargers are still a good team. Their offensive performance in the first half of this game proves it. However, I just don't think they have enough to keep up with the big boys. Case in point: their scrum against Kansas City at Arrowhead this past Sunday. The Chargers can keep up with their superior adversary for a little while; they can make their defense look silly with flashy plays and long touchdowns, but at the end of the day, the cream of the crop will always come out on top. LA now falls to 2-4, and serious questions must now be asked about this team's future. This team feels like the 2019 squad all over again. Huge expectations only to sputter and falter when it matters. CBS even unleashed the Swifties on us for roughly the 4th time this season with the stupid stat they showed about Kelce in the 2nd quarter. As if things couldn't get any worse.
Packers 17, Broncos 19
This was one of the most pathetic displays of football I have ever seen. Two indescribably terrible teams with strong defenses gearing up for 60 minutes of completely unwatchable football. At the end of the day, Chef Russ managed to stave off another loss thanks to Jordan Love having yet another terrible game. Not much to write home about for this one.
Dolphins 17, Eagles 31
For how often the Dolphins offense is talked about, they sure have a habit of vanishing against legit contenders. Case in point: the Eagles. Against the Kelly Greens, Miami only scored 7 points without aid from turnovers. They were completely useless, and Philadelphia just toyed with them all game long. Good on them for getting back on track after the Jets disaster last week. I'm of the opinion that the league is better off when the Eagles are good.
49ers 17, Vikings 22
Putting the Vikings in the tank bowl last week was a mistake. My reasoning? This game. San Francisco played yet another sloppy game. Jake Moody missed a kick in the state of Minnesota for the first time in his playing career. And Bruck Purdy had 3 picks. Minnesota, here is your upset win. They're back on the radar and are only a game below .500 now. They could go on a rampage if they keep playing like this.
Laughingstock of the Week
The nominees for Laughingstock this week are the Raiders, the Bills, and the Niners. All for very obvious reasons. With enough said, though, the winner this week is the Buffalo Bills! For losing to the 1-5 Patriots in humiliating fashion. Well done.
No comments:
Post a Comment